in which Naruto and Sasuke aren't that bad parents.
Kids are annoying. They always have been and they always will be, even if they're yours. They'll whine and beg for attention, they'll demand food, they'll spill your favourite hair gel, even when you tell them explicitly not to touch it.
That is Uchiha-Uzumaki Sasuke's quote of the day.
Okay, to be fair, Naruto didn't give them clear enough instructions when saying, "Get the peanut butter out. It's in the cupboard."
Unfortunately, the Sharingan-user's spouse forgot to mention that the cupboard they were looking for was in the kitchen, not the bathroom. And he forgot to mention that peanut butter was brown with little crunchy things inside it, not sky blue with bubbles inside it.
"Hey, teme! Teme! Where's my orange shirts from the academy?" Naruto's loud and aggravating voice filled the former rouge ninja's ears. "I want to give it to Itachi and Misaki to wear for their first day!"
Sasuke shot up out of their bed, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed in fury. "There is no way that I am letting them wear that disgusting shirt on their first day, dobe!"
"That shirt is awesome! They should wear it with pride on their first day of the academy!"
"No! They are wearing the hand-sewn shirts with the Uchiha crest at the back! Whether you like it or not!"
Rolling his eyes, Sasuke got out of bed and pulled on his cotton, white, short-sleeved jersey (with the Uchiha crest sewn expertly on the back) and padded towards their joined bathroom where his spouse was searching frantically for the stupid shirt. But that wasn't why the Uchiha was staring with hidden amusement; it was because he was searching in their medicine cupboard.
"Dobe, in the medicine cupboard? Really? All your going to find in there is panado and asprin," Sasuke resisted the urge to stare wantonly at the blonde's naked torso.
Naruto didn't receive the opportunity to respond because, just then, a high pitched squeal erupted from the vicinity of their children's bedroom.
Just on time, thought Sasuke. The Sun wouldn't shine if Uchiha-Uzumaki Misaski and Itachi didn't have an argument over something stupid.
Rolling his eyes once again, Sasuke walked out of his bedroom and continued down the wooden floors of his hallway to the blue painted door with the sloppy words: 'Itachi and Misaki's room.' Coincidentally, Naruto wrote that. Stuck all around the words were stickers of kunai, swords, butterflies, Uchiha fans, flowers, smiley faces and, strangely, a poster picture of Mean Girls, once again, strangely, put up by Itachi.
Clutching the rusty door handle (Sasuke reminds himself he has to oil that) he opens the door and spots his daughter shouting at a giant bundle underneath mountains of blue sheets.
"You're such a baby! It's just the first day of academy! We'll know all the peoples going there from pre-academy school!" Misaki screamed, balling her tiny hands into fists and literally putting her foot down.
"I don't want to! Suzuru and Inami are going to be there and they are mean to me! They took my play kunai away and I had to lie to Papa and Daddy about them! And you didn't help!" Itachi sniffed and curled deeper into his ball.
Apparently the two didn't realise that their Daddy was standing right there, listening to every little word and inwardly gaping at said words.
"What is going on here?" Sasuke's stern and disapproving voice echoes throughout the small room.
The black haired girl slowly turned her head and looked at her one father, her baby blue eyes lighting up and dulling in one nanosecond. "Daddy! Ita's being a big baby! Tell him to get up!"
"Itachi?" As soon as he heard his Daddy's voice, the little boy jumped from the bed where he was previously huddled in and into the not-so-open arms of Sasuke.
Said man nearly collapsed from the extra weight, but managed to hold the red haired Uchiha-Uzumaki firmly on his hip, all while allowing the child to bury his face in his father's neck and wipe his tears on the collar of his jersey.
"Sasuke? Why is Ita-chan crying?" Naruto frowned and looked at his spouse's face for a response. Not garnering one, he turned to his sobbing baby. "Baby bear? What's wrong?"
After a few minutes of silence came the feeble reply, "Misa is-is not being nice!"
"He doesn't want to go to the academy," Sasuke finally drawled out, unconsciously rocking the fire-red haired boy like when he was an infant.
"What? Why not? I thought you were both excited?"
"Ita is scared because some peoples took away his kunai when he was small! But I can get why they did it; b'cuse he's a big baby!" Misaki stuck her tongue out and put her hands on her hips, just like Sakura obaa-chan did.
"Stop calling your brother that, Misa-chan! Ita-chan doesn't like it!" Naruto frowned and attempted to look stern and angry.
"Naruto, talk to your daughter. I'm taking Itachi downstairs," Sasuke said, gripping his son tighter and turning towards the door.
"Ne! Sasuke, why when they do something wrong, they're my children, but when they do something awesome, they're yours!" Naruto whined.
Sasuke ignored him and continued forward, carrying his baby boy (though he would never say that out loud) downstairs to the kitchen and setting him on the counter top, his feet dangling idly while he rubbed his eyes.
"Now tell me what happened." I'm sure you can guess who said that.
"Suzuru-kun and Inami-kun aren-aren't nice. They say it's weird that Papa and Daddy have different hair from me and they say Misa isn't my sister and they say I'm funny because I like to sit and read by the big tree and because I don't like to play Skip and they say it's weird that I like to spend time with Enoki-chan because he's in a wheelchair and he has pretty hair," the child took a deep breath and continued.
"They say I'm stupid because I read and they say Enoki-chan is funny looking and they say Kakashi ojii-san and Sakura obaa-chan are weird because Kakashi ojii-san was Sakura obaa-chan's sensei and they say Misaki is a lot better because she plays Skip and they-"
"Okay, okay. That's enough," Sasuke said. "So, how long has this been going on?"
"From when Daddy came and brought us our lunches from the academy and when you brought my book about the-the drah, the dray, the dra-"
"Dragons. And do you sit with anyone under the big tree when Suzuru and Inami come and pick on you?"
"Yes! I do!" Big blue eyes looked at him, sparkling with hope. "I sit with Kagura-chan and Hizashi-kun and sometimes Kakashi ojii-san brings Enoki-chan over and we wheel him up and down and up and down and up and-"
"And does Misaki come and sit with you?" Sasuke opened the fridge and took out some eggs and grapefruit as soon as he saw Itachi eyeing the cookie jar.
"No, not ever! She only sits with me when she wants to take the crayons or when we have to write about all the weapons awesome ninjas like Papa and Daddy use!"
Getting out a frying pan and spatula, Sasuke cracked the eggs over the pan, careful not get any shell into it. "Is Misaki mean to you?"
"Yes! Misaki always calls me a baby and sometimes she stands by Suzuru and Inami and looks! She's mean!" Cue another fit of tears.
"Okay, okay. Come here," Sasuke lifted his son into his arms and brought his small plate with eggs and grapefruit with sugar on it. They sat on the couch with Itachi on his lap and Sasuke started to feed him the pale pink grapefruit. "Listen, in future, come and talk to me or Papa about these kinds of things, because what happened there is called bullying and it's not good. And you can't face all your fears by running away, that is not what I taught you. So, you're going to go upstairs, and we'll all have a talk and then you're going to get ready for school. Okay?"
Itachi nodded wordlessly around his fruit.
Misaki liked to play and do fun and exciting things, things that often caused her to get into trouble (cough, cough Naruto cough, cough). She was also one of the best students in her class, that is, at physical combat. She wasn't, however, so skilled at the written and oral work done (or to be done) as, say, Itachi. To put it simply, she was downright jealous of her little brother and wanted to put him in his place.
It wasn't to say that she didn't love him, I mean, he was huggable and probably had the biggest eyes in the world. But, nonetheless, you can't have the younger sibling showing up the older one. It just wasn't right.
That's pretty much all there was to Misaki's side of the story. Thankfully, Misaki wasn't good with words when attempting to apologise to her baby brother, so she just have him the biggest hug ever.
So, Sasuke decided, as he watched his twins hold hands as they walked off to their first day in the academy (ten minutes late, no less), that Naruto and he weren't that bad parents after all.